Now, it’s no secret that the Wii U hasn’t been the most successful of consoles since its launch. After some rather promising sales in the launch period, the Wii U became rather stagnant and has been climbing out of its own grave ever since. Now that the PS4 and Xbox One have been released, next-gen is truly upon us, but for all of its shortcomings, here are the reasons I believe that the Wii U is still the best option for those looking to jump in to the future of gaming. Continue reading
Since Telltale Games re-invented the point and click adventure with The Walking Dead, many have praised their unique ideas and since then, they’ve become rather busy. Currently developing Tales From The Borderlands, a new Game of Thrones game, as well as continuing to release new episodes for The Wolf Among Us and The Walking Dead: Season 2, it’s fair to say that they have become a rather popular studio of late.
Now, as much as I loved The Walking Dead, a couple of things have frustrated me about the way Telltale make these wonderful games. I’d love to state for the sake of the article that I disliked their games, I don’t, in fact The Walking Dead made me care about it’s characters more than most games ever have, and because of this it’s one of my favourite games of last-gen, but maybe with these changes, Telltale could make a game I like even more. Continue reading
With a new year, comes a new beginning, and the knights have returned from their adventures to bring you another slice or two of the gaming world. So I decided to celebrate our revival by taking you back through the wondrous highs and the tragic lows, of what turned out to be possibly the most interesting console generation this incredible industry has ever pulled out of its dark, wire infested hat.
Chris and Lucas played Mario Strikers Charged Football and shouted at each other, lots. Enjoy!
Hey guys, new series of videos starting up for you straight from TKOG! We are now going to be doing 1 minute reviews, giving you all the insight, without all the waffle. First up is Ben reviewing Super Crate Box for y’all….Enjoy!
So, Lucas and Chris were drinking one night, and decided that Lucas learning to play the Ocarina would be a great idea. Here are the hilariously disturbing results.
So, with a great year of gaming behind us, there are plenty of games getting attention, awards for best this and that are being thrown around like nobodys business, so we here at TKOG thought that we’d join in and give you a little list of some of our favourite games of the year (GOTY). Continue reading
So, a while back, I posted up, ‘The Top 7 Games To Play When You’re Hungover’. Now, we all know how to get to that stage, and that would be with the help of our little friend alcohol. Having some friends round for a game quickly devolves into a debauchery of laughing, crying and generally behaving badly. Now, depending on what games you choose to play, the night can end in one of two ways. Quite often, life-long friendships are broken, little pieces of gamepads can be found scattered around the room and heads are deposited in buckets. Sometimes though, you find the perfect combination of games, the night goes swimmingly and the house is filled of happy drunks, attempting to build a cushion fort in attempt to recreate their favourite minecraft creations. One thing, as we all know, drunken solo gaming isn’t fun, so these games have to be fun with friends. So without further ado, let’s begin! Continue reading
(Written by Joseph Hardy)
EXT. NOT MIDGAR
THE PARTY resumes their hunt for SEPHIROTH but get SIDETRACKED by RANDOM BATTLES, MINIGAMES, PLOT RECAPS and BACKSTORIES. On their way they meet YUFFIE, CAIT SITH, VINCENT and CID.
I’m a ninja who steals stuff and gets travel sick. I’d probably be the thief of the party if the skill system hadn’t rendered every character interchangeable.
I’m a robot cat riding a stuffed animal being controlled remotely by a guy in Shinra. Why my battle mechanics aren’t affected by this, is a mystery.
I’m a collection of belts and zippers given life by professor Hojo. I’m dead upset about my last girlfriend being Sephiroth’s actual mum. Can I have a spin-off?
I wanted to be an astronaut but one of the scientists went OCD and cocked up the launch, causing the space program to be scrapped. I’m very angry and swear a lot, which basically makes me a less ethnic Barret.
THE PARTY eventually learns that SEPHIROTH is heading to the TEMPLE OF THE ANCIENTS to find the BLACK MACGUFFIN.
INT. TEMPLE OF THE ANCIENTS
CLOUD, AERIS and CAIT SITH enter the TEMPLE while the rest of the PARTY waits OUTSIDE because only THREE PEOPLE can travel together at any one time. Eventually they find SEPHIROTH.
What are you planning to do with the Black MacGuffin?
I will summon a meteorite and crash it into the planet. When the planet gathers its magical energy to heal the impact, I will be reborn as a god.
How do you know that this plan will even work?
More to the point, why do you want to be the god of this boring-ass planet?
Ooh is that the time? I need to go for a 3 hour hair appointment.
Ok how do we stop Sephiroth from getting the Black MacGuffin?
Wait, I’m intercepting some exposition from the spirits of the Ancients. Apparently the temple IS the Black MacGuffin. There’s a switch that shrinks the temple but if you use it you’ll get crushed as well.
If only Barret were here to heroically sacrifice himself for the greater good. Oh well, we can send the robot.
CAIT SITH shrinks the TEMPLE and is CRUSHED. For some reason, this is treated as a TRAGIC DEATH SCENE.
Nice, now we can take the Black MacGuffin and keep it safe from Sephiroth.
Hey is that the Black MacGuffin? Could I have it please?
Sure, let me walk over and hand it to you reeeeaaaallllly slooooooowwwwwlllllly.
SEPHIROTH takes the BLACK MACGUFFIN and leaves, while AERIS stands around and WATCHES. A replacement CAIT SITH arrives shortly afterwards.
Well so much for my ultimate sacrifice, what’s going on? Why are you punching Aeris repeatedly?
I’m grinding for experience!
After some CAREFUL CONSIDERATION, CAIT SITH decides to INTERVENE.
EXT. FOREST OF THE ANCIENTS
CLOUD and AERIS find themselves in a FOREST where they FROLIC.
Cloud, don’t feel bad about the fact that you’ve just doomed the entire planet. I’m going to the city of the Ancients to pray for our safety, which is a totally legitimate plan in the face of Armageddon.
That sounds retarded, did you get brain damage or something?
Cut her some slack dude. You were punching her for ages!
CLOUD wakes up from his DREAM and heads off to SAVE AERIS.
INT. CITY OF THE ANCIENTS
THE PARTY finds AERIS praying on an ANCIENT GAZEBO.
Hey I’ve come to save you!
Save me from what?
SEPHIROTH totally KILLS AERIS! This is one of the most SHOCKING MOMENTS IN VIDEOGAMES to anyone who didn’t watch the TRAILERS or look at the BACK OF THE CD CASE.
What the hell? She didn’t even drop any good loot!
I’M VERY SAD! ALLOW ME TO DESCRIBE MY SADNESS IN DETAIL!
I’ll leave you with this segment of my mum and then I’m off to disc 2!
The CHUNK OF JENOVA immediately COLLAPSES UNDER ITS OWN WEIGHT and DIES.
EXT. SWIMMING POOL OF THE ANCIENTS
CLOUD wades out into the WATER where he DUMPS AERIS’S BODY because he has run out of PHOENIX DOWNS.
I will always treasure the times I shared with Aerith, such as when I threw barrels at her and took her into a brothel,
or when we rode a boring gondola after I’d rejected her for a stage hand. And who could forget the time I almost chopped her tits off with my unreasonably large sword?
That was ten minutes ago!
CLOUD proceeds to BOMBARD THE PARTY with SELF-DOUBT, ANGST and ELLIPSES. Fortunately for him they are COOL WITH THAT.
TO BE CONTINUED
(Written by Joseph Hardy)
So, yesterday I read an article about why zelda should be handed over to Retro Studios, and well, it got me thinking about what I want to see from Zelda games in the future. I’m personally a massive Zelda fan, it is my favourite gaming series of all time and as much as people may moan about it being stale, I think that Skyward Sword was one of the finest Zelda games to date. However, I understand why some people are beginning to find it boring, the last few games in the series have clearly suffered from the near perfect formula which the games have stood by for years. Not to say that the formula is a bad one, it’s just that us as gamers are so used to it now that we want more, we want that feeling of awe that we got from Zelda all those times in the past. So hopefully, here are some ways that Nintendo can freshen up Zelda for us all to love for another 25 years. Continue reading