Girl-Gamer

Why you should love “fake gamer girls”.

A few days ago the following status popped up on my Facebook wall.

UntitledI’ve blocked the person’s identity because it’s unimportant, what is important is the fact prior to this point I wasn’t really aware of the concept of a “fake gamer girl” I’d heard the phrase fake geek girl before, but Luke McKinney already sucker punched those fuckers so hard they’re still shitting diamonds, however since this is the Knights of Gaming, I figured someone needed to address this topic and explain why people like the person above are total fucking morons.

It seemed to me like most of the hostility towards these fake gamer girls stemmed from the fact they claimed to be gamers, while only having a casual knowledge of the entire scene in general and that they only latched onto gaming because it’s popular and cool. Now at the age of 22 I never thought I’d say this, but the person quoted above is 16 and I noticed that this trend is prevalent among guys that age, but back in my day (jesus I feel old), games weren’t fucking cool. Gaming today is a completely acceptable social endeavour that attractive women will openly associate themselves with, if you’re complaining about that, fuck you, I would have killed for that shit when I was 16.

But okay, maybe the hostility stems from the fact that they have an offensively limited view of gaming which I could accept they’re not a real gamer because they only play Pokemon, they never played Final Fantasy 7 or Wind Waker. But wait, you’re not a real gamer because you never played the original Final Fantasy. Well, you’re not a real gamer because you never played the original Japanese version on an imported console. Nuh uh, you’re not a real gamer because you never played Pac-Man in an arcade.

See how stupid that looks? When your argument is “this person doesn’t know as much as me, therefore they’re not allowed to be a part of my subculture” you’re just starting a dick measuring contest and take it from a guy named Smallwood, there will always be a bigger dick out there. Trying to say someone isn’t a real gamer by stating that they’ve not played the same games as you is like calling someone gay because they haven’t fucked your girlfriend. What makes the games you’ve played anymore legitimate than the ones they have?

If I was a real gamer I'd have based this on Final Fantasy 6.

If I was a real gamer I’d have based this on Final Fantasy 6.

But okay, maybe it’s nothing to do with dick measuring, maybe it’s all down to the fact they’re not a real fan, they don’t understand the culture and it’s subtleties, all they did was buy a t-shirt and a copy of Pokemon. Well, they still bought a copy of Pokemon, right? If you ran a charity and person came up to give you money would you berate and hassle them about whether they understood exactly what your charity stood for before you took it? No, because you’d have a fist shaped hole in the face part of your soul before you got half way through that conversation. You’d take their money and politely thank them for supporting something you believe in. Now replace the word charity with gaming.

Just because someone doesn’t understand exactly what gaming is about, it doesn’t change the fact  that they’re still supporting it with their money and time. We need the casual crowd, if you think something can survive purely off of the back of its die-hard fans and enthusiasts, go try to buy a Mega Man game.

But maybe you dislike fake gamer girls because they’re only, as aforementioned, latching onto gaming because it’s popular, well that’s just a necessary part of something being popular. Every subculture and group interest has them, they’re called posuers and they’re not a new thing. Skateboarders have to put up with people using a skateboard as a fashion accessory, punk fans have to deal with people wearing an anarchy badge without understanding it and hip hop fans have to deal with Dr Dre fans. The fact gaming even has posuers at all only means that it has been legitimised as a subculture and if you’re truly a fan of gaming, you’d like that because it means gaming is now something people want to associate themselves with. Those people being attractive women is just the icing on a cake made of explosions and polygons.

However, I couldn’t discuss this topic without touching on the misogyny, the beautiful, beautiful misogyny. The fact that this term is applied exclusively to girls while there are hundreds if not thousands of guys out there who do exactly the same thing, guys who only play FIFA or COD and claim to be gamers, no one insults them. Which is where someone says “guys don’t upload pictures of themselves with an Xbox controller saying “lol, such a nerd XD!””  which is an excellent point. But guys also don’t have to deal with threats of rape every time they log on, their mothers do, but that’s a different story, so I personally give girls a pass on that one. But others don’t, others think these women should be able to name the lead character from every Final Fantasy as well as detail the timeline of Zelda because they call themselves a gamer. The fact that you need to do anything other than play games to prove you’re a gamer is a sentence so innately fucking stupid this paragraph is now required teaching material in the state of Texas.

If you play games, you are a gamer. Every person you accuse of being a fake gamer, still bought a console and supported the industry, you should be thankful for that.

Break Time

The Top 7 Games To Play When You’re Drunk

So, a while back, I posted up, ‘The Top 7 Games To Play When You’re Hungover’. Now, we all know how to get to that stage, and that would be with the help of our little friend alcohol. Having some friends round for a game quickly devolves into a debauchery of laughing, crying and generally behaving badly. Now, depending on what games you choose to play, the night can end in one of two ways. Quite often, life-long friendships are broken, little pieces of gamepads can be found scattered around the room and heads are deposited in buckets. Sometimes though, you find the perfect combination of games, the night goes swimmingly and the house is filled of happy drunks, attempting to build a cushion fort in attempt to recreate their favourite minecraft creations. One thing, as we all know, drunken solo gaming isn’t fun, so these games have to be fun with friends. So without further ado, let’s begin! Continue reading

2011 was a great year for gaming

Now then, as great as last year was for me personally, that’s nothing compared to how good a year this was for gaming. With Nintendo announcing and releasing consoles, and Sony releasing a handheld, we were not short on hardware for sure. Then there was the question of the games, not only did we have one of the best years of games to date, they came at us consistently throughout the whole year, leaving us almost no time to sit down and appreciate one game, before another game smacked us in the face with its awesomeness and made us play it. In fact, personally, 2011 left me with a backlog of games to play that I’m still chipping away at even now. So to celebrate this amazing year of gaming, I’m going to make a top ten of my favourite games of 2011. Continue reading