Cg_cloud

Final Fantasy 7 Abridged (Part 1)

(Written by Joseph Hardy)

FADE IN:

EXT. MIDGAR – TRAIN STATION

CLOUD and BARRET enter the STATION in one of the most ICONIC INTRO SEQUENCES that has ever been REMADE for a PS3 TECH DEMO.

CLOUD:

Apparently I’m a serious elite soldier turned mercenary who only cares about cash. I also look fabulous in a silk dress.

BARRET:

I’m the leader of a group of freedom fighters and I have a gun for an arm. This has resulted in me being the butt of several wanking jokes.

They meet up with some OBLIGATORY STAR WARS THROWBACKS outside a REACTOR owned by SHINRA CORPORATION.

BARRET:

I want to save the planet from Shinra, so I’m going to blow up this reactor, and presumably kill hundreds of innocent people in the process.

He DOES. Continue reading

chicken

To Kill A Chicken

 

We all have a nemesis in gaming, that one thing, that for whatever reason, whether it be a hatred of the character, or just an incapability to defeat them. I personally have one that haunts me, if I’m not screaming at creepers or fearlessly charging head first into a patch of tall grass, then I’m likely fending of this foul beast. That my good friends, is the chicken. Yes, you heard me, chickens. You see, I have noticed over the past week or so whilst playing several games, that I have some sort of vendetta against chickens (not the real kind, but the pixelated kind)

Continue reading